


Pulled down the stars

by Nyanzaya



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, If you really look into it and the meaning of some of the dream, Ignoring Feelings, Japanese Folklore, M/M, Shizuo being upsetti spagetti because wtf was that, Symbolism, Unresolved Feelings, at least im sure that's the tag for it lmfao, basically it's taking place in a dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:49:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23035030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyanzaya/pseuds/Nyanzaya
Summary: Dreams shouldn't be this cryptic and confusing right? It's probably best not to think too hard about it actually. Dreams are stupid! They don't solve anything at all.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Kudos: 21





	Pulled down the stars

**Author's Note:**

> This was written back when there was a drrrsecretsanta exchange! Figured I'd finally post it on here as well. It's inspired from 3 songs but I'm -1,000 intelligence and don't know how to link those hahaha

Peace.

It was a difficult emotion for Shizuo to find himself feeling. The tranquility of it was the type of emotion he had always wanted to feel and the sky above added to the feeling of calm. It wasn’t often he would gaze at the stars, perhaps wondering what was actually out there beyond it all. A full moon illuminated the field he was in and despite it all, he really didn’t care how he got there.

He was sure this peace would last, though he thought too soon hearing a grating voice on his ears.

“Shi~zu~chan~”

Already he was reaching for his cigarettes. “How the hell did you find me out here, you bastard.” His words were low, almost growled out in annoyance of hearing his hated nickname.

Izaya gave a hum, “Well, isn’t it obvious?”

“It’s not obvious at all.” Shizuo’s brow furrowed as he placed the end of the cigarette between his lips and flicked his lighter.

Of course, Izaya wasn’t surprised. Shizuo might have been intuitive at times, but right now it seemed like he really didn’t have much of an idea. The informant gave a shrug, “Coincidence then. I wasn’t actually looking for you by the way.” He looked up to the sky.

Shizuo inhaled the nicotine, before he finally exhaled slowly. “That sounds like a load of bullshit.” His nerves were calmed again. He then looked at Izaya, how they looked at the sky. The blond shook his head, finding that looking at him made him feel dizzy. Why was that? Normally, he would retaliate quickly and chase this bastard out of the city, but they weren’t in Ikebukuro. They were in some field, looking at the sky together that was far from the noise, the bright blinding lights and the expectations of their reputation.

Out here they were just two people.

The tension that would normally be between them almost seemed to not exist.

“Does it? It’s surprising a beast like you would be out here. Don’t tell me you’re going to change under the full moon’s light.” Izaya spoke, turning his head to give Shizuo a side glance, smirking at the other as if expecting something out of him.

Shizuo tsked, “I’m not a werewolf or some shit like that.” He felt himself tense up, feeling the anger starting to scratch up his back again.

“Are you sure about that? Looks like fur is starting to stand on end.” The informant teased before he swiftly moved out of Shizuo’s reach. He raised a hand, shaking his index finger at him as if scolding, “Now, now, you don’t have to act that way.”

It was agitating how Izaya always seemed to be just out of arm’s reach. Of course, he threw his fist without much thought. Letting the anger take over his senses felt better than holding it in. “Fuck you, you damn flea.” He spat out.

Izaya gave another shrug, opening his arms as if inviting Shizuo “Come now, Shizu-chan, can’t we have ourselves a little truce and try to enjoy what’s out here?”

“A truce? With you? In your wildest dreams.” Shizuo took the cigarette out of his mouth. It wasn’t finished but he put it out and opened his vest to retrieve a white envelope to place it inside. The envelope was placed back into his vest and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Why would I ever want to make a truce with you?”

“Have you heard the story about the old man and the rabbit he took with him when he went back to the moon?” Izaya asked looking back toward the moon, clearly ignoring Shizuo’s questions.

The blond rolled his eyes, exhaling a sigh, “Who hasn’t? It’s the one about the old man disguised as a beggar and asked these three animals for food. They were…” He brought a hand to his chin, thinking of the story again. It had been a long time since he had last thought about it.

“The monkey, fox and rabbit.” Izaya piped in.

“Yeah, but what about it?”

“You remember how it ends?”

Shizuo looked at Izaya again, the dizzying feeling returning, but he powered through it. “The rabbit didn’t have anything to give to the beggar so he asked them to make a fire and offered himself, but the beggar took off his disguise and said something along the lines of how kind and generous the rabbit was to offer themselves and ’cause of that he brought them back to the moon with him.” He looked at the moon with a soft smile, “He’s still there too.”

Izaya was quiet but after a moment he started to laugh. It started soft before getting louder. Shizuo was taken aback by their laughter.

“What?” He asked, watching Izaya bring a hand to his face to rub at his eyes.

It was funny to Izaya that they were having a conversation like this. Not even a few minutes ago he had gotten Shizuo all riled up with a few simple words and now here they were, talking about some old story about the moon. He’d only ever claim to love humans but the moon held a charm he really couldn’t deny. It was an enchanting thing and looking at Shizuo, it was almost blinding as if he was the sun itself. Especially when the blond had softly smiled. It was a type of warmth that Izaya wasn’t used to seeing but he didn’t want anyone else to see Shizuo this way either. Izaya gave a sigh, “It’s amusing really, the moral of that story. Don’t light yourself on fire to keep someone warm. You can be as kind as you want but don’t let yourself get hurt. Funny how people let themselves get hurt regardless of it.”

Now it was Shizuo’s turn to be quiet. Surprisingly, he listened when Izaya spoke about the story and its morals. It was something he sort of agreed with, but the thought of being too kind regardless of getting hurt left a strange feeling. He thought back on people he had protected and he was the one that would get hurt, perhaps not in the emotional sense of it all but physically. The wounds had never bothered him but to think Izaya would say that, he simply shook his head. “Whatever you say. I don’t think it’s as simple as that because there’s a lot of ways you can get hurt.” He gave a shrug. His words were not as deeply profound as he had wanted them to be but that’s what he thought. There wasn’t anything wrong with getting hurt as long as the person you helped appreciated it, right?

It was strange to Izaya to be having this kind of conversation with Shizuo. The thought of it made him shake his head and look down at the moonlit field. There was an emotion he wouldn’t admit to feeling, finding it to be a troublesome thing. It was moments like these that Izaya couldn’t stand. How often would this happen? It was almost an electrifying kind of interest, even if he would avoid Shizuo at any given time and in moments like these it was oddly satisfying. “You’re so literal sometimes.” The informant spoke, turning to face Shizuo. Despite how he felt blinded by looking at them, he gave a soft smile.

Shizuo uncrossed his arms and put them in his pockets. “Literal, huh?” He supposed he could see that and looking at Izaya again, how the moon light seemed to brighten him up in a mystifying glow. Seeing how his eyes almost twinkled, the dizzying feeling returned. It was hard to look at Izaya, but he didn’t know that it was also hard for Izaya to look at him. Something about this brought a feeling of wanting the other all to himself. It was then he noted the tattoo on Izaya’s hand. The moon. It was the opposite of his own. The sun. “Your eyes, they look like they have the stars in them.”

Izaya hummed, moving closer to Shizuo bringing his hands to cup his face. Shizuo felt warm and didn’t seem to mind the touch of his hands. He leaned upward, ghosting his lips over the blonds, as his eyes narrowed. “That’s because I pulled down the stars for you.”

What? Did he hear that right? Is he feeling this right? Why was Izaya, the man he hated most holding his face as if they had always been something more than enemies? This wasn’t right. This wasn’t the Izaya he knew. He felt how his heart had started to race from how close Izaya was. It couldn’t have been anything else. It had to be the anger building up again. A fight or flight response to this, knowing that Izaya was just going to trick him somehow and get just out of arm’s reach again.

“Izaya, what are…?”

He didn’t get an answer. The only response he had gotten was a kiss being pressed against his lips. Something about it didn’t feel strange as he tentatively placed his hands around Izaya’s waist quickly finding himself relaxing into it and closing his eyes. It felt uncharacteristically soft, especially compared to how the pair normally was; hard, rough and stabbing. This time, perhaps the only time, it was peaceful, tender and enchanting.

It was when Shizuo’s eyes fluttered open that he saw his ceiling. The dizzying feeling was still there, as if he had been dazed by such a gentle and tender kiss but quickly it was replaced by a feeling of panic. Shizuo sat up, his breath short as he looked at the back of his hand. The tattoo was gone. With the same hand he brought it to his face. “What a stupid dream.” He spoke softly to himself, his free hand clutching on to his bed covers. The thought of it being a dream was frustrating. Why did he have to dream of that bastard?

In a small fit of rage Shizuo slammed his hand against the wall, uncaring if he broke the drywall even if he regrettable knew that he would have to fix it. He pushed his bed covers off and went to look out his window. It was still dark out and looking at the time it was only 3:43 in the morning. From where he was he couldn’t see the stars.

_I pulled down the stars for you._

Shizuo tsked, bringing a hand up to brush back his hair as he moved away from the window to sit on the edge of his bed. “The stars, huh?” He looked at his hand now, wondering why he was the sun and Izaya was the moon. Of course, even his dreams had to be cryptic and confusing and it only furthered his frustration. Especially when he thought about Izaya.

They were nothing alike and even if there might have been some hidden similarities he would refuse to acknowledge such a thing. He would refuse to think about often he thought of Izaya and for that bastard to show up in his dreams? It had to be Izaya’s fault.

“That’s right. It’s that bastard’s fault.” Shizuo grumbled to himself. The thought of going back to sleep almost sounded like a chore. He didn’t want to have that dream again. He didn’t want to experience that peace and tranquility if Izaya was there but in his dream he didn’t find himself hating it. If anything he enjoyed being there with Izaya despite the annoyance he felt around him. Shizuo couldn’t figure out why he could never look at Izaya without that dizzying feeling.

He brought a hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it to try and relax himself. What was he supposed to do? Pretend he didn’t have a pleasant dream about the one person he hated most? Of course, he did dream of Izaya before but it was nothing like this. All of the other dreams were of them fighting or their days back in high school. This one was different. It was strange and he couldn’t figure out why it was different. There were signs and symbols in his dream but he wasn’t sure what they meant.

Defeated, Shizuo gave a shrug and got under his covers again, closing his eyes and began to fall asleep. He chose to ignore this strange dream. It wasn’t going to change anything about their relationship now and he couldn’t bring himself to admit anything that the dream might have shown to be the truth. Shizuo might have made a dream about Izaya in a weird and twisted version of something akin to the feeling of love, but it was just a dream. It wasn’t some hidden desire to connect and be with that guy anyway.

Besides, there was nothing similar between them. The emotion could never be returned in the same way and that was that, even if it left a bitterness in his chest as he fell asleep.


End file.
